


Hit Me

by ashlewinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drunken Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Gen, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashlewinchester/pseuds/ashlewinchester
Summary: There's only one way to celebrate your first solo hunt and that's getting banished to your room after a few drinks. Who knew angels were bashful? I mean, come on. It was just a joke.





	Hit Me

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my first attempt of humor. Let me know what you think :)

“Hit me” you whispered under your breath. You sat stuffed into an oversized chair, sandwiched between the younger Winchester and a plush arm rest. Heavy footsteps from Sam’s ornery brother alerted you to his pending appearance. “Has she eaten anything?” Dean questioned Sam, completely overlooking you. Sam took in your profile before answering, “I don’t know, why?”

“Hello Dean, you know, I’m here,” you gave him an insincere wave and smile. “How many drinks has she had?” Dean once again ignored you, speaking to his brother. “Dude,” Sam gave you another quick glance, “I don’t know.” Your glare remained on the grump with the green eyes. “Sitting right here,” you replied to Dean but he avoided looking in your direction. “You know what happens when she drinks on an empty stomach,” his intimidating frame towered over you and his brother. “Again. I’m sitting right here,” you mumbled. Then took a gulp of brown liquid from the tumbler that you carelessly held between your thin fingers. 

Cas grabbed a beer, crossed the floor, and stopped between the three of you. His brow knitted over narrowed cerulean eyes and puzzlement cloaked the angel’s handsome features. “Dean, y/n is sitting next to Sam. Do you not see her?” Both Crowley and Sam smirked, waiting for Dean to answer the confused seraph. Dean scowled at his best friend before he accepted the beer, “Yes Cas, I see y/n.” The two men continued to stare at one another for several seconds. “Get a room,” you whispered causing a thick chuckle to spill from Crowley’s lips. “Hit me” you mouthed to the King of Hell before three pairs of eyes landed on you. 

“Well I don’t understand. Why not address y/n directly,” Cas’ eyes returned to Dean. “That’s what I want to know,” you studied Dean, waiting for an answer. For the first time since he walked in the room, the elder Winchester turned towards you. “Okay, fine. Y/n have you eaten?” You smiled widely, “I don’t know, maybe. Does beer count?” Maintaining a grin, you swished the beer around in the bottle, took a swig, and placed it on the table. Dean threw his hand in the air, “I can’t,” he retreated the way he came. The angel tenderly called your name.

“Yes Cas,” your face somber. “Have you eaten?” The blue eyed man stood in front of you. “Why? What are you offering? You purred to the celestial being. This time when he said your name, his saccharine tone was gone. “Yes Cas, I have. Thank you for asking” you kept your mischievous smile. “When?” Dean yelled from the room, not hiding the fact that he was eavesdropping. “Ask her when?”

Cas held your e/c eyes, and followed Dean’s request. “Cas,” You sat up meeting his intense gaze, “You tell Dean he knows. He was there, we ate together.” Dean’s angry lead footed steps drew everyone’s attentions, everyone san Crowley’s. “Hit me,” you winked at the brown eyed man. 

Sam’s back stiffened, “So you’re telling me that she hasn’t eaten since breakfast!” Dean barreled through the door, you rolled your eyes at his presence, and sipped from your glass. “Still. Sitting. Here” you spoke loud enough for both brothers, your angel, and the King of hell to hear. “Dean, maybe you should try talking to y/n,” Cas’ attention darted between you and his best friend.  
Dean’s apple green eyes roamed the angel’s face then meet yours, he took in a labored breath before speaking. “Y/n why haven’t you eaten? That was hours ago.” You grabbed your beer from the table and tilted it just enough to allow the lime flavored brew to slide down your throat, while maintaining his focus. The older Winchester tuned on his heels and you yelled at his back, “Dude, I wasn’t hungry.”

“Don’t dude me.” He leered at you over his shoulder, “I’ll be in the kitchen.” He told the room, then looked at his amused brother, “Sammy, watch her.” He has always been overbearing, in an ‘I truly love you but I refuse to admit it. So I’ll show you by being annoyingly protective’ way.

“Oh come on Grandpa, chill. We’re not at a dive and it’s just us. Let me celebrate my first solo hunt.” Dean made a low growl in the back of his throat, but didn’t face you. “Hit me” you smile at the man sitting adjacent from you. “Crowley,” you began sweetly, uncrossing and crossing your legs. “Are you hungry?” The demon’s lips curved upwards, “I can eat.” The two of you smirked at each other for several seconds, only to be interrupted by Sam’s obvious throat clearing. “Dean, I’ll take two burgers, medium. With cheddar, heavy onion, and mayo. Light pickles and mustard, three tomatoes, lettuce, but only if it’s crisp.” The once noisy kitchen fell silent. “Do you want chips?”

“Do I?” Crowley answered your question with a question. “You do,” you promised, “Hit me. And fries please.” you practically sang the last word. Once again, there was silence. “Dean, did you hear me? You emptied your glass with a sly smile, eyes fixed on the suited Englishman. “Hey you... Can it!” Dean shouted over clanging pans.  
Your e/c eyes traded Crowley’s for Sam’s. “Why,” the younger Winchester implored. “What?” You faked an innocent expression and sat back uncrossing your legs only to switch and cross them again. “Why do you antagonize him?” 

“Shits and giggles Sammy.”

“Sam.”

“Sure thing Samuel,” you gifted the giant man with a satisfied smirk and a flirtatious wink.

“How many drinks have you had? 

“More than a little, less than enough,” your e/c eyes shifts from the hunter to the King of Hell. “Hit me.” Crowley used his free hand to make a finger gun, which he pointed and shoots. Your glass refills for the sixth time. “Are you serious?” Sam no longer entertained, knits his brow and takes away your newly refreshed tumbler. He brings it up to his nose and sniffs it, “It’s straight whiskey.” 

“It’s not,” you chorus with the demon. Crowley raises his glass to his mouth and you continue, “It’s Macallan 64 on the rocks.” You smile broadly at the King of Hell and he tips his drink. “I don’t like when these two pair up,” Cas’ gravelly voice came out of nowhere and he blocked your vision of your demon. You’d forgotten that the angel was there, he’s been quiet since Dean’s departure. “Yea,” Sam scoffs and refuses to return your drink. Ignoring your open outreached hand, he swallows the content. “Hit me,” the hunter repeats you order and dimples grace his cheeks when Crowley supplies him with a refill. 

“Hey Cas,” you lean forward and grab your beer. “Do you wanna hear a joke.” Cas’ body made it impossible to see the demon, but you knew he was smiling and waiting. Without pausing for Cas’ respond, you continued. “What do you call sex with an angel?”  
Cas’ body stiffened, “Y/n, I’m afraid that whatever you say next will be highly inappropriate.” 

“A holy fuck.” Refusing to break your gaze from the angel’s, you beamed at Cas’ shocked cobalt irises. You watch his Adam’s apple bob and heat flush the celestial’s cheeks. The hunter and King of Hell choked mid swallow. And you heard a riotous chortle on the other side of the trench coat wearing angel and grinned harder, pleased at the thought of Crowley throwing his head back with laughter. “Dean,” Cas timbre was low, loud and urgent. He walks toward the door before the hunter appears with a plate in both hands. “I heard her.” Dean crossed the threshold with laser focus eyes burning a hole through your skull. “This is why I don’t let you drink.” 

“Let me,” you giggled winking at the demon with the ear to ear grin. “What,” you switched legs, overlapping the left with the right. 

“I’m absolutely fucking, delightful.” 

“Yea. Well right now, you’re an ass.” 

Your mouth turned downward in an exaggerated pout, “Ouch, silver tongue has claws.” Castiel’s face morphed from bashful to protective. “Dean, I find name calling unnecessary.” 

His green eyes shifted from yours to his best friend’s, “But you called me.”

“Yes, I did. However, I do not desire for you to verbally abuse y/n.”

“Cas, I” Dean was interrupted by Crowley. “Darling, I find you bloody enchanting.” All eyes followed the British accent. The angel took your vacated seat next to Sam, when you sauntered over to the dark suited man, hips swaying, and e/c eyes smiling at him. Gently nudging his had from his lap, you replaced it with your ass. The King of Hell shook his head as you caressed his shoulder and neck. After threading your fingers in his dark hair at the nape of his neck, you pressed your breast firmly against him and softly whispered. “Thank you King Cuddles Boo Bear,” you pulled back just enough to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. The two of you remained hypnotized by one another, “Dean what’s happening. I don’t like it and I’m uncomfortable.” Cas’ tensed voice broke the demon’s trance. Dean sat the dishes on the table, “Yea Cas. I think we’re all freakin’ uncomfortable right now. Hey Sweetheart, it’s time for bed” Dean clapped his hands loudly, once. “Hey off. Go to your room.” When you remained seated, he added, “Move!”

The look in the King of Hell’s eyes told you that he was no longer charmed by your coquettish antics. Before you could escape his scolding eyes, he snapped his fingers, and weariness consumed you. When you disappeared, Sam jumped to his feet just as quickly as the angel sitting next to him. Cas’ angel blade dropped from his tan coat sleeve and the two men moved swiftly towards the demon. “Crowley,” The older Winchester’s voice was dangerously calm. He threw his arms out to stopped the advancement of his brother and best friend. “Bring her back. Now!” Sam gritted through clenched teeth, his hands formed two tight balls at his sides. 

“Relax Moose, y/n is in her room.” 

Cas vanished and reappeared before Crowley finished his sentence. “She’s asleep,” His gravelly timbre was thick with annoyance. “What,” Crowley shrugged his suited shoulders, “She crossed the line.” The three men glare at the demon. “Really?” Dean questioned him with raised eyebrows. “It’s one thing for y/n to flirt shamelessly while flashing me her inner thigh. But what she said won’t be tolerated… Proprieties.” Crowley let out a sigh at Dean’s and Cas’ confused expression. “This wasn’t the time or the place,” he continued. 

“Right,” Sam replied before reclaim his seat. “I’ll take mine's to go,” In a flash, both the plated meal and Crowley disappeared. “You actually made him food?” 

“Shut up Sam,” Dean reprimanded around the burger he stuffed in his mouth. “What did Crowley mean about time and place?” The brothers ignored their inept friend. “What is he insinuating?” Cas waited for an answer but Dean took another bite. “Did they have sexual intercourse?” The pensive angel waited in vain and the two hunters leered at him. Dean chewed angrily as he left the room, with Cas on his heels. “Dean, is that a yes, or a no?” Their footsteps descended, “Dean you can hear me, right.”

Sam downed the remainder of his scotch and mumbles, “Hit me,” to no one. His drink replenishes and his back goes ramrod straight. “Crowley,” he sneers. “Hello Moose,” he greets the seated Winchester. “Dean forgot the onions,” he stated before he strolled into the kitchen. “Get out,” Dean bellowed. “I only need onions, and I’ll be out of your perfectly sculpted hair.”

“Hit me,” Sam yelled and giggled at his glass once it refilled.

“Crowley.” The angel studied the demon, “Did you and y/n engage in sexual intercourse?”

“Nope,” Dean stomped away abandoning his burger and fries. “Dude, where are you going?” Sam stood when his brother grabbed his jacket and keys. “Out. And away from that,” He pointed to the kitchen door. "What makes you qualified to be crowned king of cuddles?" Cas' husky tone quizzed the demon.  
Sam’s head swiveled from the two non-humans traveling voices to his brothers retreating back. “Hey wait for me,” he called then emptied his tumbler.

**Author's Note:**

> Please gift me with a kudos if this sorta made you smile. Kisses.
> 
> I'm just a fangirl standing in front of her fandom, asking to be loved.


End file.
